Journey to Sigils

What if the thing you are fighting your whole life isn’t actually the problem?
What if it is just part of the path that leads you to a destination?

Sigils

I knew nothing about them when I first came upon them, other than seeing them in “witchy movies”. But, reality is, they are accessible to everyone, and they have a wonderful purpose. For me, they helped me stop fighting time and started working with it through art. Sigils: personal symbolism layered with intention.

Throughout most of my adult life, I always felt something was missing.

After earning my BFA in Fine Arts, I went on to get my MFA in Interior Design. It seemed like the sensible thing to do, stepping into a career that helped people and paid the bills. A “real job,” I told myself, much more “real” than being an artist.

But with each passing year, I drifted further away from art. The further I drifted, a deeper longing for something more grew louder inside. I felt empty. I searched for years through relationships, long hours at work, and restless nights and weekends, trying to find purpose and move forward. That why haunted me. I knew, deep down, I was supposed to be doing more.

And yet…that knowing had me stuck.

The wash-and-repeat lifestyle was slowly extinguishing the flame inside of me. My free time felt overwhelming. I felt like I didn’t have enough time to do anything, yet there I was…sitting…spinning…trying to decide what mattered most. My to-do list was a mile long, but nothing felt worth my time. Or worse, everything felt important, and I couldn’t figure out where to begin.

So, I didn’t begin at all. It all felt impossible.

My outlet at the time was nature. It helped. A LOT. I would spend hours walking in the woods with my pup, Jasper, and a notebook, just trying to get a glimmer of inspiration. I learned that nature soothed the pain and helped me feel grounded. But the moment I returned home, I was lost again.

Time…
it was always about time.

Not enough of it.

Not used well.

Never quite mine.

I would blink, and an hour would be gone. Wasted. This cycle was endless for years, dare I say a decade or more.

Things didn’t change overnight, but things started to shift when I started turning inward. Looking towards who I was, my connection with the world, to nature, to something beyond what I could explain. That’s where I found a glimmer of that flame again. This didn’t give me the answer to my purpose, but I did find the tools I needed to ease the suffering of not knowing.

Somewhere on this journey, I stumbled across sigils. I had no idea what they were, but it was something new, and why not learn more! Sigils, to break it down to the basics, are symbols designed to hold intention.

I knew I suffered with time for so long. Having something tangible to remind me not to stress and worry sounded perfect. My intention was to be reminded that time was not an enemy to me, but a partner.

I tossed around a few ideas and landed upon a statement that struck a chord. I was excited. I did the things and drafted my first sigil.

And…it SUCKED!

It was a mess of lines. It felt disorganized. Guess, in hindsight, it reflected my own state of mind back to me!

I dropped it right there and walked away for almost two years.

That’s when I decided to take a class in ceramics. A refresher course from my semester in college. I loved it. Just like gardening, there is something about working with dirty hands. I started creating constantly. Random pieces and nothing serious. Just creating and learning. Somewhere in that process, I found something I hadn’t felt in a long time: flow.

When I was creating, time disappeared. I wasn’t suffering when I was creating. Time stood still and flew by all at once. I stopped worrying about time. I didn’t feel behind or rushed or that I was wasting time. It was amazing.

I carried that feeling with me for about a year, until…like before…the old patterns started creeping back in. The pressure. The scarcity. The feeling that something was missing. Time showed back up, and it still wasn’t on my side.

That’s when I found my notebook with the sigil.

The same statement:

“My life flows in slow harmony with time”.

This time I saw it differently. The symbol wasn’t wrong or bad; I just hadn’t been ready for it.

So I reworked it. I sat with it to understand it better and noticed it was perfect. One section represents the flow of life, and the other represents harmony with time.

Now, when I see the sigil, as a whole or in parts, they serve as a reminder - my own personal silent language. I have them in multiple places in my house and life. In locations where I need them the most.

”My life flows in slow harmony with time.”

Time isn’t something to chase or fight.
I am allowed to move slowly.
I have time.
Flow isn’t something I find, but rather what I practice.

 So I’ll leave you with this:

What is something in your life that feels like an enemy…but might actually be waiting to become a partner?

What would it look like to create a reminder of that? Something you can return to, again and again?